When people like nohope and exwifetobe come here with their problems and questions, others here, and I really appreciate the kindness and thougtfullness, can help express their feelings and thus reduce their sadness, and explore all the possibilities and consiquences of different choices. Take nohope's case for example, one thing that I don't think some people have realized is, when the child grows up, s/he will lead a life without a father. Imagine all the bewilderment and troubles the child will have to go through in a life without a father. I don't think nohope will be able to tell her child all the truth, or to tell the child s/he does not have a father. That situation will be very difficult for the child's whole life.
What I think we should do, is not to give a definite conclusion or suggestion of action. The help seekers should also not expect such from others. They should take all the inputs of people from different angles, and make their decisions. Otherwise, different people have different opinions and it's real hard to decide which one to follow.