Preface: Do you believe in love ? fate? premonitions? If you can’t suspend reality and just go with the flow, then my story probably isn’t for you. Please don’t waste your precious time on this long writing up.

I’ve got a message from Neo right before I was out of town . As usual, he wanted to check out if I was doing fine. His soothing words left me with a glow in my heart. Then I suddenly realized that how fast time flied and we haven’t had a conversation for quite a while.

Neo is my good friend. Our friendship dated from years ago when we were dating each other.Years ago, Neo fell love with me at the first sight. His outstanding appearance (extremely same Neo in Matrix)and sassy style made him as a good catch for me too. Since then, I was overwhelmed by his affection and sweetness, which is the God granted gift for him. Deep down, he is such a warm and thoughtful person, a good company and a good friend, indeed. Actually, he is very good tempered and knows how to treat women as a gentleman.

Admittedly, I do buy man’s look. But it isn’t enough for me. His superior intelligence did earn my admiration and favor. Neo grew up in super-wealth family with sophisticated manners and graduated from ivy league school. There is even a book documenting his family history in Unites States. In his 20s, he started serving as the board director for a private equity firm and will be the next successor for his family businesses in 5 years. You wouldn’t believe a totally different Neo at work, serious, demanding, tough and shrewd.

I thought there wasn’t a reason not to be with a man like Neo. Especially, whenever and wherever we went, both our friends and relatives gave same comments,"You two make a great couple together" .

Yet, life plays back jokes. The longer I was with Neo, the more I found we were so different. Whether he is the one slowly gave rise an inevitable question for myself. I took many things in my life for granted, since I watch my beloved parents’ great marriage, I always believe great relationship means trust and defense for your lover. However, Neo grew up within a broken family, his parents filed divorce when he was a teenage. He watched his parents’ relationships and his family atmosphere makes him feel insecure and kind of vulnerable in our relationship. In addition, besides leading a decent life, I always expect to do something meaningful for this society and human being. As an opposite, Neo always donates his money to NFL or San Fransisco Giant ba<x>seball team instead of charity. I tried to persuade him to help people truly in need instead of those professional players who already have enough income….

With all frustrations, I even tried to persuade myself to compromise my version of life and mindset. I started to feel lonely and bored with him. After long time fight struggles and conflicts between my heart and mind. Gradually I realized that Neo wasn’t the man I wanna spend the rest of my life with and it wasn’t my call to be his love angel. I initiated a conversation with him to explain that both of us were still young and we should give each other opportunities to find the right one before we commit to marriage. Neo was burst into tears at beginning but he was all the way gentle and patient to me. He never forces me do anything since we met. He also said:" Sweety, you are not alone in this country. At least, you have a friend."…… Yes, I know there is a number I could call. Our friendship survived.

Friends think I was so insane to split with Neo. I know I can fool others but not myself. Since I live my life only once in this world and I gotta be honest to myself. Probably I won’t find another guy in my life as handsome and wealthy as him. But I wasn’t sad because I believed that I made the right decision. I believe in serendipity. If I found the one, I’ll never let him go, because I know and I know that I know.