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 [老中原创/情色] 一个落雾的清晨 [续集] -- 老中的两个儿子如何应对父亲出走 [感谢大家HIT上集超过两千!] |
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laozhong
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加入时间: 2004/12/19
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来自: 苏州/天津/北京/重庆/美国
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作者：laozhong 在 海归酒吧 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
老中的老二给老大的电邮
> -----Original Message-----
> From: [email protected]>
> To: [email protected]>
> Date: Saturday, December 27, 1997 11:22 PM
> Subject: Re: Mom
>
> She got out of control again last night, just about the same
> as the time you were here. The neighbors knocked on my
> door and told me they were going to call the police if she
> keeps yelling like that. It's like the whole building is
> able to hear her! People came down here from the third floor
> to complain! See, mom just wants to yell and hopes the
> neighbors will come and point fingers at me, she doesn't
> know those neighbors aren't supposed to intervene in others
> business like in china. Those neighbors didn't ask a word
> about what's going on, just told me I'd better stop it or they
> would have to call the police.
>
> I told her if this happens again, she would have to live
> somewhere else. And I will pay $300 a month for the rent. I
> will just take loans from school. She said she likes the
> idea, yah, whatever. You have to take what she says with a
> grant of salt, meaning better don't believe until it really
> happens.
>
> In fact, I think if she can live on her own, she will be
> able to really THINK about it. and get the reality. She has
> to be able to realize she is just another person and has
> both rights and wrongs. I don't think she understands she need
> to change herself too just as everyone should. She
> can't make me accept both her rights and wrongs just because
> she is my mom.
>
> There is no point in talking about these things with her.
> She does not reason what's right, She just feels what's right.
> So it's not like a talk will change things.
>
> Have her go to a dealer school and become a dealer is one path,
> but not now. She shouldn't go to LV now. She should go to
> the adult school here, and she seems to have lots of friends
> here already. Be warned, do not think if you do what she
> says, she will be happy after you have done it. She probably
> really doesn't want it after you have gone through all the
> troubles and got it for her. Do what you think is logical and
> right instead. After her English improves a bit, if she can
> be out there and can basically live the everyday life
> without others' help, we can then talk about having her go
> to work.
>
> The main problem of having her here is she is annoying. I
> can't concentrate on my studies. And she thinks I owe her to
> do this and that once I am out of school. Hell no. If
> I do all those things she ask for, she will only ask for
> more. Forget it. It's not going to happen with me. If next
> semester she still annoys me, I will have to do
> something about it. Last semester was not a great semester
> for me at UCBerkeley. There is going to be a change next semester,
> I will do whatever it takes.
>
> I will look into her insurance things. Don't worry about it.
> I'll take care of that.
>
老中 wrote to his elder son:
Thank you for your forwarding the e-mail to me. EVERYTHING IS TOO
FAMILIAR TO ME. She has not changed a bit and she could NEVER change. DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE HER. It will not work. PERIOD.
In particular, I TOTALLY agree to your brother's following statement:
Do not think if you do what she says, she will be happy after you have
done it. She probably really doesn't want it after you have gone through
all the troubles and got it for her.
NOW YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO DISAPPEAR.
However, I do want to work with you guys together to find a solution.
First of all, I see your brother's study is the first priority. Therefore, I
think you should take over. This is also because you are the one who
caused all these to happen [sponsored her visa to USA]
Secondly, is there anyway to convince her that her going back to China
is a good idea? I can even buy her a house in Zhengzhou if she agrees
to surrender her green card when she leaves US so that she cannot come
back to US easily to bother you guys.
Thirdly, it might be a good idea to let her fight with XYZ [from Malaysia] so that you guys would no longer be her major emotional relief. REMEMBER, SHE HAS TO HAVE SOMEONE PLAY THAT ROLE (This is why even we hire someone to chat with her, that person would not be able to do the job for long.) I was #1 on the list and your grandma was next. I am terribly sorry that you guys now have to take the heat.
When XYZ cannot stand, I would make an offer for her to go back to
Canada. We can then sell the damn house. You guys will all move without letting your mom know your whereabout. She will then call your friends. If your friends understand your situation like my Henan co-workers, you do not
necessarily lose your faces by not showing up, thus forcing her to go back to China.
Although she has MORE THAN ENOUGH savings to live in China, I will buy
her a house once she goes back to China w/o having an easy way to come back to US to bother you guys.
In general, you guys have to be PATIENT. She is your mom and that
can never be changed.
作者：laozhong 在 海归酒吧 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
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 [老中原创/情色] 一个落雾的清晨 [续集] -- 老中的两个儿子如何应对父亲出走 [感谢大家HIT上集超过两千!] -- laozhong - (5570 Byte) 2006-4-08 周六, 02:12 (4223 reads) - 有个问题 -- 又是一年花开时 - (12 Byte) 2006-4-08 周六, 23:08 (534 reads)
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