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 无何挽救你的无性婚姻-sexless marriage |
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山东斯汀
[博客]
[个人文集]
头衔: 海归准将
声望: 学员
性别:  年龄: 51
加入时间: 2005/09/14
文章: 679
来自: 某国驻华使馆
海归分: 106854
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作者：山东斯汀 在 海归酒吧 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRNtILMXAsM 在线播放
https://ash-v129.ash.youtube.com/get_video?video_id=xRNtILMXAsM 下载地址
听写记录由YOUTUBE英语QQ群内高手独立完成，不对之处，请与指正：
Dr. Lana Holstein and Dr. David Taylor created that workshop that helps a couple that you just saw. They run this workshop at the Miraval resort in Arizona. They have a book out called Your Long Erotic Weekend and that enables you to do it on your own as well.
And good morning to both of you.
Good morning.
Well, that really had a happy ending so far for this couple, they save their marriage by having sex. What is a sexless marriage? How do you define that?
You know a sexless marriage is defined as less than 10 times a year, intimate contact less than ten times a year, but you know there's a lot of couples in that category if you define it like that.
With little kids, right? What's the dynamic that happens? Is it just too many life stresses? Is that why sex goes by the wayside?
That's one of the things, too busy and too tired. There's also too sort of distant and disconnected. And then there's often, there's some irritability and anger. And then people just become kind of like roommates or brother and sister.
Um, well then how does a man, how does it, a man deal with that kind of situation?
Well it evolves over period of time. But often it's, there's some frustration and some anger and then ultimately, ur, kind of withdraw. It gets very neutral and ur, people can stay friends but they just don't have that passion.
And what about for women? Because there's such an emotional connection.
Absolutely, I think a lot of women think, well, it takes energy to have sex instead of it gives you energy to have sex. You know, there's whole brain cascade of chemicals that actually, um…
It's good for you. Why?
Yes, absolutely increases longevity. It, ur, makes you healthier. And, um, women start to think, well, you know, this is some sort of a duty or this is some kind of thing I have to do.
Hostess: Right, that it becomes mundane, right.
Right, instead of connecting in a deeper level, I think yearn for that deeper connections actually, what just, what we are teaching at Miraval.
You are kind of talking about the deeper *, just plain having sex and making love, right? Because of this…
Yeah, that's exactly it, yes. We'd like to call it a mindful sexuality, cause sort of it, the intentional creation of that connection between love and sex and develops true intimacy.
And how do you do that? How do you, how does a couple recapture their spark?
Well, you know, one of the things they have to do is that they really have to get back into feeling the love, so often we try and tell couples not so much talking, more touching, more connection on a daily bases.
We also give them homework while they are at the program, that they do in the privacy of their own rooms, which is really pleasuring one another, and then we set them up with a contract. So when they leave, they have a 30 day plan that they're going to take home, you know.
So you have to really be committed, that's what you tell people to having a sex life.
Yeah, at the workshop you can have some great experiences that really open you up and kind of remind you of what it used to be like. But then that's not enough, you have to have a practice, you have to, something that change your habits, because the habits are the thing that really get people trapped in this sexless marriage.
Well, you have a lot of great advice in this book, it's called Your Long Erotic Weekend, and thank you guys so much for being here.
We really appreciate it.
You are welcome.
And they are married, by the way, for 32 years so they know what they are talking about. That's Dr. Lana Holstein and Dr. David.
作者：山东斯汀 在 海归酒吧 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
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 无何挽救你的无性婚姻-sexless marriage -- 山东斯汀 - (3863 Byte) 2007-5-11 周五, 14:26 (1733 reads)
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